Mother’s Day Scents and Synesthesia?! (I have it!)

Hey my loves. As per usual I’ve been a wee bit quiet on the candle front. Not because I’m being lazy. Far from really. I’ve just been pre occupied with online courses, finding the perfect packaging for my candles (✅) wine making, baking sourdough, gardening, and all the other fun creative stuff!

Also!!! I’ve been watching Criminal Minds recently and there was an episode about a man, seeing in front of him, all the words people were saying…and I’m all like… ‘wait what?…that’s not normal?’ So I googled it…as you do…and it’s also apparently not ‘normal’ to view good days and bad days in shapes…and see colours when listening to music. I legit thought EVERYONE did this. So I was basically today years old when I found out I have a neurological thing called Synesthesia. I mean…it’s not a bad thing. At all. Apparently only 2-4 percent of the population has it…and people that do have it are generally quite creative, and artistic. And good spellers!! And I mean that makes so much sense because I literally see words around me ALL THE TIME. I remember actually asking my husband one day when he was asking me how to spell something because spelling is not his strength, I said ‘Kyle, can’t you SEE it?! Like when you say it…can’t you see it?’ He had no idea what I meant so I just sorta let it go. But it also all makes sense in how I view the world. How having ADHD and having a mind that is CONSTANTLY on the go. No WONDER I’m so exhausted all the time…Anyhow I just thought that was pretty cool so thought I’d share! And I would LOVE to hear if anyone else experiences this bizarre phenomena?! for lack of a better word. I’ve been trying so so hard to quiet my brain lately. Taking naps when I can, meditating (which leads to naps) turning my phone off for longish spells, coming to terms with letting certain people go that really can’t be bothered with me, and just trying not to take everything so personally. It’s hard. Ridiculously hard. But I’m getting stronger every day….I think. Anyway. I digress.

Chocolate Cake Cupcake Candle!

This non stop, weird, Synesthesia brain of mine has developed more candle designs and I’m going to share with you my most cliche types of Mother’s Day scents…but let’s be honest..all Mum’s are different so I’m sure that there will be a fragrance to appeal to all tastes!

Treat boxes that I’m offering over at

My latest and most favourite design of late is my Magnolia cupcake candle. My BFF who isn’t a huge sweet candle kinda gal absolutely loves this fragrance as it’s more fresh and floral. It’s inspired by my soul city. New Orleans 🥰 If you’re looking for more fresh scents I also have Gin and Tonic which has notes of juniper and is decorated with a ‘buttercream swirl’ and a wedge of lime! Fresh Cut Roses is another for this category as it literally smells like roses…but also that gorgeous fresh cut grass smell. It’s weirdly wonderful! My favourite…well one of my most favourites is Pink Lemonade! You can smell the fizz and it’s sweet yet fresh all at the same time. It’s such a gorgeous smell with a wonderful scent throw too!

Pink Lemonade in all it’s glory 🥰

If your momma has more of a sweet tooth, then I highly recommend my Birthday Cake Candle. It reminds me a bit of marzipan, but not overpowering. If you’re looking for a more almond scent, then French Macaron would be your ideal fragrance. It has notes of sweet cherry too.

There are so many to choose from and I absolutely have no worries that you won’t find the perfect scent! I offer all my fragrances as wax melts as well. Coming soon will be my reed diffusers too for those of you who can’t, or just don’t like the idea of having a candle burning in your home at any given time. I’m actually writing this while laying in the bath with my Orange Creamsicle, and Blueberry cheesecake candles lit. And it’s like I’m sitting in a wee bakery taking in all the scents… wee glass of wine in hand and I’m good! Omg a wine scented candle?!! Ok I’m on it…see this brain?! That’s what it does! Ugh. The unfinished projects!!!! (My husband, bless him, is a patient man!)

So get ordering my lovelies! I’m feeling inclined to pop a little discount code in because let’s be honest. Lockdown has been hard and we can all use a treat! So how does 30% off sound? Of my entire store?…well sure. I mean. Why not 🤷🏻‍♀️ You deserve it right?! Let’s go for code LOVEMYMUM’ shh no one needs to know they’re for you! 😉

Happy Shopping! If you have ANY questions, please feel free to drop me a line. It’s what I’m here for 😘 sending so much love and light! (Pun intended of course!) ❤️

What am I doing with my life?! And Milk and Cookies Candles!

Finally!! I tell you what, I’ve been meaning to make these for MONTHS now. Between my cake business and working at Starbucks, being a full time mom, wife, and business woman…my creativity and mental health was suffering in a BIG WAY. So something had to give. That something was unfortunately Starbucks. Unfortunately because that extra cash was great and I loved my wee Starbucks family. But after lockdown, I realised how much I loved working from home, being around for my kids whenever they needed me, and having a semi tidy house. Fortunately…in that after lockdown working wasn’t FUN anymore. People got mean and ugly, and I was so done with it. Since I quit last month I’ve been lazy. Not gonna lie. I’ve been enjoying my new found freedom, having longish lie ins until 8am…pottering about the house, working on MY schedule. My kitchen is finally finished after a few setbacks (that’s another story) and I’m starting to get a proper routine back. So today I got my cakes baked…and I got my candle supplies out. And I got busy. And I enjoyed EVERY moment of it, I mean THOUROUGHLY enjoyed it. And in between the melting and mixing, pouring and moulding, I got the hoover out, I cleaned the bathroom, and I washed dishes. And I felt productive, and content. It’s been some time that that’s gone hand in hand.

The last few days my husband has been on holidays. When he doesn’t do much…I tend to follow the same pattern. So we ended up binge watching ‘The Boys’ on Netflix. Oh my goodness, we LOVED it! It was funny, really funny, and it had its fair share of gore. I found myself gasping and turning away from the screen a LOT. But so so worth it. Anyway, I digress!! At one point we asked each other jokingly ‘what are we even doing with our lives?!’ My husband finally managed to get off his arse and take the car to the garage. I got up and decided to make candles. He text me at one point and asked ‘Have you done anything with your life yet?!’ I just laughed and thankfully was able to text back honestly that yes indeed I was! 🤣

Chocolate Chip was the first one that I managed to make. It was supposed to be Gingernuts but I had run out of my Gingerbread fragrance oil, so that was a no go. Tomorrow I’ll be working on Oreo Cookies and Milk, and Peanut Butter! So watch this space as I will let you know as soon as the new fragrances are here! These babies are 8oz of 100% soy wax and will give you a good 25 hour burn. And a clean burn at that. You can purchase them here Don’t forget to shop local and support all your little businesses. We NEED you!! 🥰❤️ Thanks my loves. Can’t wait to show you what else I have in store for you!! X

Sending much love and light 💓

Wax Melt Sample Box

Hey my loves! How is everyone? Things are still all a bit weird aren’t they?! I’m back to work at Starbucks, and truth be told…I’m not loving it. The company has been GREAT! No complaints there. I’m just not loving the post lockdown bit. At all. I’m not actually loving being back in the outside world to be honest. I got too used to be at home with my babies…and I’ve just really realised that they’re needing their momma now, so much more than I thought they would at this age. And I love it. And I cherish these moments ❤️ I’ve been reading, creating, gardening, and just BEING. And it’s been soooo so good for the soul.

I used my time during lockdown to really focus on my candles and get my ideas and creations to you as well. I’m still working on all my designs, but while I’m doing that…I’ve finally managed a gorgeous sample box to suit every taste!

Each box contains 12 melts of your choice. They’re 2 oz pots, and you can easily get 6 burns per pot. These will make great gifts, or just a great way to sample all of your favourite scents so you know exactly what to expect with my other range of candles 🥰

All of my wax melts are made with soy wax and high quality fragrance oils. They have a very high scent throw that will have your house smelling beautiful. It’s a clean burn unlike many paraffin waxes and if you’re not a fan of having an open flame, wax melts are the best solution to a candle if used in an electric wax burner. It’s a win win really. Gorgeous scents, lots of fragrances to choose from, and affordable too! All you have to do is select 12 of your favourite fragrances, pop it in your basket, and leave the rest to us!

I hope you love these fragrances as much as I do!

To order your very own sample box, just click here and take your pick! Don’t forget to subscribe as I have so much more to show you and I’m just so excited ❤️

Sending so much love and light in these trying times. Don’t forget to stay present and BREATHE! We’re all in this together xx

Valentine Scents

Hey lovers,

I’m slowing down my cake game…yeah yeah, I KNOW! I say this every year, but this year I’m REEEEEALLLY going to focus on this side of my business. The candles, wax melts and smellies. Because I enjoy creating them so so much! I have some ideas for videos for Cakes By Carrie-Anne too and I’ll be including a lot of vegan recipes as well. So I’m pretty excited for that.

My anxiety has been through the absolute roof recently. It’s probably a mix of winter blues, some health concerns I’m dealing with, immigration issues etc. I even started online ordering my groceries again because even stepping foot in Tesco is triggering my anxiety big time. It’s why I think I leave so much to the last minute. I just don’t want to leave the house! I am working on it. All. The. Time. And it’s little wonder that I spend so much time in my bed 😒 BUT! This weekend I am making an ENTIRE range of candles that I absolutely can’t WAIT to show you but I have bigger plans for them, so you’ll not get to see them just yet. I personally think they are so worth the wait though 🥰

In the meantime, I’ve brought you my most ‘Valentiney’ scents and these are seriously not to be missed! They are available in 20cl sizes, as 9cl mini’s and also as wax melts!!

Fragrances include

Red Velvet, Chocolate Cake, Fresh Roses, Marshmallow, Strawberry Wine…AND….no… No there’s no and, that’s it. Those are them 🥰 but they is GORGEOUS!

I am more than happy to make up little gift sets for the perfect Valentine’s present. And I’m all about treating oneself in the process. So if Valentines is just a big hokey marketing ploy to you (agreed, but I do love the cute that V Day brings to the table) but it gives me a chance to get a bit creative too, so I’m totally on board with that. Remember that Valentines Day is all about self love too…SO TREAT YOSELF! And everyone needs some gorgeous smellies in their life 🤷🏻‍♀️❤️ Am I right? 🥰

If you’d like a Valentines Gift box, just let me know what fragrances you’d like to include. Easy peasy squeeze the lemon! X

Back Pain and Blueberry Cheesecake Candles

I’m laying here in pain, on my couch and my mind is in overdrive. It’s maybe one of my biggest flaws. Or at least a flaw of mine that I despise. The most.

I’m in pain because I’m constantly on the go. When I’m not ‘busy’ I feel like I need to be. And I don’t take the time out to properly relax. And when I do relax, the guilt takes over. Like I should be doing something more. It drives me crazy. So I had a crazy busy week working Starbucks, working on my cakes, preparing for a Christmas craft fair, and making candles etc. And my sciatica started playing up. I had my little boy standing on my back and dancing just to ease the pain a little bit. And then my guys, I shivered…yes SHIVERED too hard while selling my cakes at the fair…and I trapped a nerve in my shoulder 🙄

So I’ve taken a couple days off to just properly sit back and try my hardest to just be in the moment.

Tonight though my mind is going back and forth between what I really really want in my life, professionally, personally, mentally, and emotionally.

My husband and I have been closer than ever, and I love that. My kids are growing up so fast and I’m realising that I’m going to miss this stage if I look too hard at my business endeavours. So much of me wants a successful business of my own (which in fairness is pretty successful) but that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be brick and mortar….just yet. I feel right now that I don’t want to work as hard as I have been for the past 20 years of my life.

I want to be able to say no to that extra shift. I don’t call in sick to work. EVER. So calling in these last couple of days was crazy hard for me. I felt like I was really letting folk down. I feel like I’m not ALLOWED to be ill. Even in the darkest depths of depression I showed up. Because I was always more concerned about someone else’s feelings. And no that’s not a bad thing, but I was forgetting to account for my own feelings, both mentally and physically. And it was the hardest thing to do, but I went home, and I made myself a cup of tea, although in agony, and I rested. And it put so much in to perspective for me.

And I’m such a firm believer in things happening for a reason. And EVERYTHING that I’ve gone through, every little thing, I know happens because it HAS to. Whether I like it or not. So now I’m learning to roll with the punches. To take everything in with grace and love, and understanding. And then watch it all as it develops. Sometimes I enjoy looking over at all the things I’ve done over the years and wonder how much just one tiny action changed my life, or someone’s else’s life, even in just the most minute way. It’s just kinda cool.

But for 2020, I’m definitely going to take more time to read, to meditate, to live in the moment, and to stop working so damn hard all the time. Because where does it actually get us?!

I’m going to take long breaks from social media, and I’m going to re invent myself everyday. And I’m going to keep creating. Because it’s when I’m creating that I’m at my happiest, and most content.

I have a whole new range of candles that I’m developing and I’m really taking my time on these ones. Once they’ve all come to fruition y’all will be the first to know. I’m thinking sometime in the new year. In the meantime, if you’re still looking for Christmas presents, I have lots of fragrances to choose from, and there’s still time, so get to it!!

Below is the link to all my cupcake candles. My personal favourites are Lemon Meringue, Pink Lemonade, and Blueberry Cheesecake…but my list goes on 🙈

Order ALLLL the fragrances HERE!!

Sending you so so much love and light. And don’t work too hard!!! It’s totally under rated 🤷🏻‍♀️💕🔥

Guilt, Shame, Love, and Macramé

The over thinker in me is struggling so much in this world right now. I’m in CONSTANT guilt mode. It’s actually debilitating. I feel guilt about the kind of wife I am, what I feed my kids, what I let them watch, how much time they’re spending indoors. I feel guilt every time I bake a damn cake and it’s not vegan. I feel guilt working at a huge coffee chain and seeing the amount of milk we use, rubbish we discard, and food we sometimes waste.

I feel guilty for every feeling I have that I’m ‘not supposed’ to have. And it’s mentally and physically draining. I honestly don’t know how to deal anymore. I’ve lost so much passion for just about everything. And I don’t want to feel like this. But then the guilt also makes me realise that it’s better than being numb all the time. Because I’ve been feeling a lot of that lately too. And it’s all just far too much for one person to bear. And the problem is I don’t actually have anyone to talk to. Not really. Not anyone that can truly understand what I’m going through. The ones that do understand…they have enough of their own shit to deal with. They don’t need to be burdened with my struggles too. So I write. I write because it’s therapeutic and I get so much out that sometimes I don’t know I’ve been holding back, it makes me re read so I can figure out what I need to do, where I need to ‘fix’ things. It also makes me say no. No to taking that extra cake order on, no to being walked all over, no to going out when all I want to do it stay in and sleep. No for doing anything that doesn’t resonate with my soul.

But also I’m very grateful for what I do have. I have people in my life that truly love me. People that I question their love for me, but my anxiety tells me it’s not true, that I can’t possibly be worthy of their love (I know you love me 🔥🔥 ..I do) , I have the most amazing children, that have such beautiful hearts, even though they can be so mean at times (they’re human too) and I’m blessed with having enough. Enough food, enough money, and enough love. I even feel guilt and shame for having anxiety and depression because I have ENOUGH. I have MORE than enough. But a part of my soul is not with me, it’s missing in a sense, and until I can get that sorted, I’m afraid that all the enough…will never be just enough. Oh trust me, I know how all this sounds 🙈😜

So read if you want, take from it what you want, or totally skim through it if you prefer. I’m just doing me, the best way I know how. I’m just trying to get by the best way I know how. So if this resonates with you at all, it simply means you’re not alone. And there’s a lot of comfort in that. It also means that if you need to reach out, please do so. There’s a lot of love in this heart too.

These past few days have been about reading soulful books, taking long hot baths, meditating, sleeping, and just being more present.

I’d love to say I’m working on some new projects. But to be honest. I’m just tired. I don’t have it in me just yet. I have lots of ideas, and planning a lot of projects, they just haven’t come to fruition yet. But bear with me, they will come.

I have been making macrame lately. I love it because it’s very therapeutic. It keeps my hands busy, it’s 100% natural. And it looks gorgeous when made in to wall hangings, plant holders, etc.

I’m selling these plant holders at the moment for £12 here. I’m so in to the boho chic look right now. I’m going to macrame the shit out of my house , just you wait 😂 Funny how it’s all coming back! I remember these all over the place as a kid. I’m glad they’ve made a comeback. I do think it’s a much prettier comeback. More to do with the colour scheme of the back thens 😂 yes I know my wall is pink, but also, I love a colourful house. Yellow hallways, pink living room, and a lavender bathroom. It’s much prettier than I’m making it sound 😜 But the colours bring me contented ness, and it balances out my current play list which mainly consists of Billie Eilish. So it works 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway, the macrame department will get bigger once I finish my grocery bag, wall hangings, and even a little hanging shelf!

So stay tuned 🥰

And all is ok with the world again

I haven’t written a heart felt blog in a while. Mostly because sometimes I feel like if I don’t talk about how I’m feeling, then it doesn’t matter. And it’s not important. And that if I ignore my emotions, it will all go away. And I know how naive that way of thinking is too. But I also know that’s sometimes it’s all I can do.

I’m in my bed already. Because today I’m physically and mentally exhausted. When you’re around negative energy and negative personalities, it just gets way too much. I’m so so tired of letting people/events get to me. I’m tired of people trying to tell me who I am, trying to figure out if I’ve hurt someone because God forbid they actually communicate with me and let me know where I fucked up. I’m tired of people getting angry at me for FEELING. I’m ALLOWED to feel the way I feel. I’m especially tired of caring too much. Of the guilt I feel over every decision, every action, every word. And there’s no ONE to blame but myself. Are you exhausted reading this?! I literally have headaches everyday but these are the things that go around in my head 24/7. I CANNOT stop any of it. I try. I do. I try to read, I try to meditate. Sometimes I play games on my phone just to numb my mind a bit.

Yesterday I lit a candle and lay down and let my mind calm itself, and in those moments, I’m truly at peace. I relax, and I breathe. And I let all the senseless worrying go. It’s in those moments that I can really understand what’s important in life. Sometimes I have to read back on my blogs and realise how far I’ve come. And then I also realise that I’m still at a standstill in so many aspects of my life. Where I realise I very much still live my life for other people. Because I would rather harbour the hurt, then put it all on them. But that doesn’t seem right either. I think this is sometimes just the curse of the empath. And that’s all up to me to change that. I’m just not sure where to get that sort of strength from. Because allowing myself to be do things for me…comes with a level of guilt that kills me. But I’m working on it. Everyday. Every. Single. Day. One day, perhaps I’ll get there. I’ve also been reading a lot of spiritual books, and some really fun ones about making sure we aren’t missing the signs that our spirit guides are constantly sending us. Signs to let us know that the universe ALWAYS wants what’s best for us. If we ask for them, we will get them, and also when we need anything, the universe will always provide, so long as we have faith. So I’m working every day at putting that positive energy out there. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to have my bad days. And just because I’m spiritual, it’s doesn’t mean that I have to take anyone’s shit. People will always be dicks, that’s just a universal truth. But I’m going to make sure I don’t stoop to their level (I’ll try very hard at least) 😜

My favourite candle to use in my meditations is my rose quartz 11:11 candle. I use it because rose quartz is all about the love. And I’m needing a lot of self love in my life right now. And it also smells heavenly. I use essential oils of rose musk, geranium, and Ylang Ylang to fragrance it and dried rose petals on top. You can get your own here! I’m still having a Buy One get One Free offer on my cupcake candles, so be sure to have a look here so you don’t miss out 🥰

(I’m feeling so much more positive after this blog already!! See?! sometimes we just need to write it all down to understand where our triggers are!)

Sending you all so much love and light 💕

Forgiveness and Soul Lessons…and a relaxing candle or 2 😏

I am really enjoying the longer days lately. I’ve been going to bed early and getting up early, because I find I’m my most productive then. I get my cakes baked, house tidied, and other chores done before the kids are even up for the day. And I get to enjoy a hot cup of coffee in peace. That means at 9pm I’m showered, teeth brushed, tucked up in my bed meditating, and actually relaxing. I’m trying to find the best cognitive therapies that I can (Because I don’t want to be on anti depressants forever) Mostly that involves asking myself why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling. And then really understanding how and if it’s even important and helpful at the present time. I like to ask myself ‘Will this matter in 5 minutes…will this matter in 5 weeks, 5 months….and 5 years. Most of the time. It won’t. And my brain can understand that. So it’s easier to let go. A few nights ago though, my thoughts got the best of me. And Kyle came upstairs to an absolute mess. And he was so concerned, and I felt bad because I couldn’t in that state, make it known that I just needed a good cry. There wasn’t anything wrong per se. It was just an accumulation of trying to keep it all together most of the time. And I’m accepting that that’s ok. Sometimes I still get totally hung up with how I’m perceived by the outside world and even people who ironically don’t want to be in my life anymore. But more often than not, I don’t ACTUALLY care. Because I know who I am. And that’s all that really matters. And all that really SHOULD matter. I’m self aware. I know my flaws and I am trying to change the ones that I feel I have control over. I’m learning to really love me, and I think I’m pretty fun. Sometimes suuuuper annoying, but again. I have to embrace it 😂 I have a beautiful family at home and at work who I really can be myself around and I really am just trying to be the best human being I can be. Sometimes I fail miserably. Sometimes people don’t understand, or they think I have an agenda. And I kinda do. My agenda is to love EVERYONE and to not pass judgment. And to go outside of social norms and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But I’m also not going to let people treat me badly either. If you want a place in my life, I’m here. Always. But to protect my mental health and my own heart, if you don’t want to make an effort for me or with me. That’s ok too. That’s your prerogative, that’s your journey. I’m also doing everything I can to right my wrongs. For too long I’ve felt the need to fix everyone. But that’s not my job. My job is to ‘fix’ me. I’m not ‘broken’. I know this now. I just need to tend to THIS soul. How can I save another person from drowning if I can’t even keep myself afloat? I know who I don’t want to be…so that helps me become the best version of me I can. So to anyone and everyone on a similar journey….it’s so so important to be self aware but to also remember that you’re going to mess up. Because how else can you grow? So don’t beat yourself up. Just lift yourself up, surround yourself with positivity. Turn off the news. Turn on the salt lamps, light the candles and just BE. Trust me. It does wonders for the soul and you really just live in the NOW. Where NOTHING matters.

So I’m doing that. I’m letting people go, I’m focusing on the tasks at hand. And I’m certainly not begging to be in anyone’s life anymore. It’s exhausting, hurtful, and pointless in so many aspects. If it’s not going to help you grow…you have to let it go.

I’ve also created this range of candles to soothe my soul. So If you’d like some all natural essential oil soy wax candles that have a charged crystal embedded in each one…order yours below!

I have 2 fragrances available and a 3rd on the way!

Nirvana (Amethyst)


11:11 (Rose Quartz)

They’re so so beautiful and I think because I’ve made them specially for my own therapy, I’m even more excited about them ☺️ They truly are so therapeutic and the wood-wick just gives me all the feels 😍

Sending so much love and light and just good vibes 🥰💗

Immigration, the Unknown…and super gorgeous Candles

I’ve been noticing a pattern with my meds right now. One day I’ll be as high as a kite, I feel like I can take on the world…and the next. I’m drowning, my anxiety is through the roof and I’m just so weepy. And it’s so irrational, and I know this, which makes it even more frustrating. I’ve been feeling a little more on edge this week because every 2 or 3 years (I actually can’t keep up anymore!) my visa runs out, and I have to reapply for a new visa…or leave to remain…or spouse of a British national.

I feel like I’ve been on literally every single one. And every time after I pay a couple of grand, they’ll ‘let’ me stay in the country because the government doesn’t like keeping families apart….yet I feel like I’ll never get my British Citizenship. Or I face deportation. After we send off EVERY SINGLE piece of bank statements, identity, letters, proof of just about everything…we wait. And wait. And my life is put on hold because I’m waiting on someone, as I some regular person just like you and I, at Home Office to make a huge decision about MY future. And as much as I trust in the universe and that KNOW that everything that will be, will be. I can’t help but shit myself just a bit. I mean….my families future could be in the hands of someone who’s pet might have just died, or it’s their first day on the job and the person training them doesn’t give two shits because they’re leaving that job for their dream job…(this is my mind guys) or they got in a huge fight with their best friend , partner, child, etc just before they left for work. And to be honest guys…I just want to be around my family. I just don’t want to stress anymore about whether or not I’ll be deported. I don’t want to have to dip in to savings or our credit card for that matter to pay a huge sum of money for a ‘sorry, no, we just don’t feeel like you are an asset to our country.

And guys, it’s not even about the money. I have a very healthy relationship with money. Or at least I think I do😏😂 We work hard to feed our family, give them a roof over their heads, live comfortably…and I tend to give the rest away. Because I have got SO MUCH more than I really neeeed. And that makes me sound like I have too much money. In reality, we live pretty much pay-check to pay-check, like most people I’m assuming, but we’ve also got so much more than so many. So we always give where we can. Because we’ve been in the position when starting out as a very new family that we had to scrounge around the house for money for a load of bread. But I also know that if we continue to work hard, and play just as hard, and trust in ourselves and each other, and the universe, the money will continue to come. Because we have more than we need to survive. (Also going vegetarian saves a shitload of cash) just saying…. 🤷🏻‍♀️ chickpeas and lentils are hella cheap! 🙌🏻 So what I’m asking, ever so eloquently, is if you’ve been fancying a gorgeous, one of a kind, sniffy candle…if it’s for Mother’s Day, or just a treat for yourself (because you KNOW you deserve it…my Buy One get One Free offer is still on. Click on all the gorgeous fragrances you’d like and have them shipped straight to your door. Because who doesn’t love a twofer?! It’s a total win win, because you’ll also be helping me to pay my massive Leave to Remain fee! 😬❤️ Thanks my loves. So so much, and more than you know! What are you waiting for?! Click here and get your order(s) in!


You’re so sensitive!

I’ve been told my entire life that I’m ‘so sensitive’. Said in such a way that I felt like there was something wrong with me. Like it was a weakness. Because I felt things more than others. Over the years I started hardening my heart a little. Yes I would still cry in just about every film I ever watched, but I built a wall and tried to fight the sensitivity. I found myself becoming more hostile, angry, and intolerant. And then when things get really bad in my head. I shut down. I still do that. I become much less talkative…which says a LOT. I isolate myself from friends and family, and I hide.

My mind refuses to turn off lately. I’ve been getting crazy anxiety, I’ve been worrying about EVERYTHING and I just can’t shut it down. And now….I have a mini version of that at home. Although both my children are very sensitive (thankfully!)…Hayden is extremely so. And every so often I see my 8 year old self in her. She feels so so much, that I think sometimes her little soul can’t take it anymore. And my goodness she can be MEAN! She’s quite the philosopher, is questioning the ways of the world ALL the time, and she gets so angry when things don’t make sense in her head. Things like having to eat her pizza at school lunch with a knife and fork. I mean….she gets ANGRY, and you know what…she has a point! We don’t eat our sandwiches with a knife and fork so I’m on her side with this ALL THE WAY. She’s a people pleaser, and when she comes home from school, a good day is when she’s made the teacher proud. And I adore that, but sometimes I wish that she didn’t care so much what people think. She overthinks. She asks questions like ‘what’s the point in being born if people are just going to boss you around the whole time’, why in the world do we have to do maths when it’s just silly and I’ll never need to know it, and why do I need to go to school to learn stupid things.

These past couple of weeks has been a really rough one for me. I’ve been really really struggling with my purpose, my ambitions and what exactly I’m supposed to be doing in this crazy world. And then I see the way my daughter is, and I realise that if I weren’t here anymore…she would struggle. Don’t get me wrong. Kyle is MORE than enough. He’s an incredible dad. So supportive and understanding of our children. But lately when I get those very dark thoughts. I think of how my babies would be. And I know they’d be so much worse without me. Because I was that child. I can empathise fully, and I know how to handle it.

Just today my little boy gave me the biggest kiss and cuddle jumped into my arms and while he squeezed the life out of me he said ‘Mum, I love you so much, I don’t even know what to do! I just want to kiss you and cuddle you!! I love you FOREVER!’ And sometimes that’s all it takes to make me stop, think about my hurts…and realise that I would DESTROY them if I went through with my thoughts. Those babies need their momma so much. And you know what? I need them. I need to teach them how to use their empathic powers for the good of the world. To teach them how to be humble, and kind, and giving. I’m so very proud of them. Because although they can be ABSOLUTE SHITS, we’ll be sure to raise some decent human beings. Even though their mom has done some awful things in her life. It’s a reminder that I’m human too…and I’m not infallible….and that’s ok. Because I’m trying every single day. And they won’t be perfect all the time…and that’s ok too. Because how else do we learn?

*edit* I initially wrote this blog weeks ago. And I was struggling, so much. This past week I’ve been in such a good place. It’s been a good week, but I’ve decided to blog this anyway, because this blog is for me. It’s a diary of sorts that will help me, and hopefully others too that are going through a dark period in their life. So I’ll be publishing more blogs that are about my journey, rather than promoting my products, because sometimes. I just need to write ❤️ I know I just published a blog yesterday and right now, I’m in a good place. I really am. I’m hopeful. And these blogs are never meant to be dark, and sad, and soul destroying. If anything, my intention for them is to be the complete opposite! Express yourselves, talk and have the hard conversations. We need to. The world needs more acceptance, and we could all use a little more understanding. There’s no judging here. Ever! Because we’re all a little bit weird…right?! 🤷🏻‍♀️❤️