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Jesus Take the Wheel

This month has been TOUGH to say the least. You know when you think you’ve got everything under control, things seem to be running smoothly and then the Universe throws you a complete and utter curveball and announces a new life lesson. Because apparently I haven’t had enough of those recently. *Insert eye roll*

Most of you will know that my little family packed up our things, moved a little further south and were staying with a relative. We put the house up for sale and because on a whole we’re pretty damn optimistic people…..we forgot to take in to consideration that not everyone has the same sentiments.  To make a long story short, I had to get myself and my kids (my husband was living separately from us due to work commitments) out of a less than ideal situation…and fast. For my own sanity and mental health, and for my children. Because just when they were getting their mother back from depression , I was being tested again. And this time I stood up for myself, and my husband stood up for me (like I’ve never seen before) and I knew then that things between us would be ok. But I’m still scared. I’m scared because I uprooted my children from their safe and ideal home, and threw them into a new school, new surroundings, and now we’re back at square one. Trying to sell our house up north while kinda sorta homeschooling my daughter until we can move and rent another house down south and then the proverbial icing on the cake, the car didn’t pass it’s MOT. So I’m stuck up in Thurso on my own, with 2 kids, no car and wondering what the heck our next move will be and where the freaking hell we’re going to get the finances to make this all work. So first I stress out big time… mostly by crying, not eating and then becoming more intimate than I’d like with the toilet bowl. I tend to purge my stresses by being violently ill…I call my parents, because they were a young family once too and most of you have probably been here too and can relate. And then I decide I need a drink…but the only drink that can console me is a cup of hot tea. And I cry into my tea until there are no more tears to cry. And then I joke and make light of the situation and Kyle sends me funny gifs, and we go back and forth with who can send the funniest ones because let’s be honest…it can always be worse. ALWAYS. And then ALLLL the things that I’ve been trying to get done and just haven’t been able to do suddenly come to fruition. Because hell! I’m a damn Phoenix. And I refuse to let this little bump in the road get us down. So I’m enjoying the time with my babies. And I’m trying so hard not to take my frustrations out on them, because they love me so unconditionally that it’s heartbreaking, and how can I teach them to be kind if I’m not showing them the same? But I’m teaching them to knit, I’m working my butt off to get my soaps and candles and cupcake jars on my website and I’m making a pact with myself that no matter what life throws at me I’m going to rise up and face it. I’ll convince myself eventually that things aren’t happening like this because I hurt someone in the past, or said or hurt someone unintentionally…or even intentionally 🙈 the universe isn’t trying to conspire against me. I know that everything that is happening now is building me up for bigger and better things to come (it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with or the pain any less bearable). It’s teaching me that I AM capable of loving unconditionally and that blaming other’s for what’s happening in your own personal life is certainly not the answer. And regardless of how I’ve been treated lately I KNOW that I can still love and be compassionate and take myself out of a negative environment and mentally and emotionally abusive situation because I am STRONG. I’ve learned that no matter what age you are and what life has thrown at you, there’s never a good enough reason to be unkind. So I’m gonna sprinkle that shit everywhere. Sympathise, love unconditionally and not be afraid to tell people how much  I love them and how worthy they are. I never want to be someone that makes another’s life seem worthless. Let go of the ego, and while I’m on that topic….ALWAYS respond to a heartfelt message or text. Sometimes the person sending it needs a little nudge in the right direction or even a little acknowledgment or affirmation that things will be fine. It costs nothing and it’s NOT all about you! (Just saying)…. <3 x

Soy wax candles will be available for pre order within the next week or so. The first fragrance will be Pink Lemonde, so be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out. There will only be a limited number available x

2 Replies to “Jesus Take the Wheel”

  1. You have Schley and Landy blood running through your veins girl this makes you “Tiger Toffee Strong” If I tell you how many times I have fallen to the darkest, deepest pit of depression through hurt, broken ” friendships”, bad business decisions, loss of my precious mom and dad like days after each other and most recently a hard knock in trusting too much ….. these things make us stronger as much as I hated hearing people tell me this “the sun will shine tomorrow”, its a fact life is so short we need to live each day as if it is our last we waste too much time worrying about what happened, what’s going to happen, what if, what now…….. so easy to say when you over yet another hurdle!! But my Cuz, this too shall pass – look at Richard Branson, President Trump to name just two who lost it all and now have billions!! One moment at a time and always believe in yourself!!! Love you lots – Love your work – Love your passion!!!! #longdistantcuz#inspiredbydonuteat#incredibletallent!!!

    1. Thanks so much my cuz. You really made me feel a little less overwhelmed. My goodness it just seems to be piling up and piling up. I know we’ll get through this and I do need to trust in the universe that everything will work out…easier said than done 😉 but I’ll get there. There are worse things. Got my health. My babies are happy…it’s all that matters in the grand scheme of things 🙂 x Love you!! X

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