We’re already in February of 2018 and although I was more than ready for it….2017 was kinda like my baby. I grew so much and had so many amazing moments and experiences…that I almost felt like by going in to 2018, I would lose all that. And I got scared, and sad. And then realised that 2018 would have so many more beautiful things for me to look forward to. And that I’m allowed to hold on to 2017, and cherish every beautiful transformation that I went through. And yes I’m trying to type through the tears right now, but I am so excited for what this year has to bring as well.
I’m typing this from my husband’s Granny’s spare room. It’s 1950’s vintage, with pale purple wallpaper, amethyst carpets, dark mahogany vanity table, and the frilliest lamp shade I’ve ever seen…..
And all of a sudden I feel very alone. And solitude is usually something that I crave. I absolutely love my own company. I look forward to it every chance I get. It’s where I get to know myself the best. Where I come to understand the human race a little bit better too….but this loneliness I feel is the type that scares me a bit. The type that gets me overthinking. That I don’t belong in this world of chaos and craziness and just pure ridiculousness. And I start doubting my existence. And that scares me even more, because in the last 365 days, I’ve overcome some enormous obstacles, that I should be so proud of. And I am. But it’s almost not enough. Almost. I’m scared that I’ll relapse in to that place that I felt like my life was over, the feeling of drowning and not being able to come up for air. It’s terrifying. But its also moments like these that forces me to wake up and realise that my life is what I make it and it motivates me to get my ass into gear and set goals, start creating, and keep my dreams in sight. Because we all have our doubts now and again. It’s human nature. And I’m the only one who can change that.
So I’ve sent off my soap recipes to the chemist, and I’ve ordered my packaging. And I’ve created this adorable donut soap. And I’m in love! And they smell beautiful! They’ve got a touch of sweet almond oil to mositurise the skin and to make it that much softer. There’s a hint of vanilla fragrance…because why not? And although they look good enough to eat….you mustn’t….because..soap. The donuts are melt and pour soap so they are available now. I’ve also ordered some fragrance oils to make Irn Bru soap, a Unicorn inspired soap and a Vanilla Birthday Cake soap. Eeep keep watching guys, these will be cold process artisan soaps so they take 4-6 weeks to cure but they’ll be available for pre order!!!
If you’d like to take a look at what I’m working on in the baking side of things, don’t forget to visit my other website Cakes By Carrie-Anne. With the move and trying to get re established as a cake artist in this area, I’ve got a bit more time to work on projects that I’ve been putting off for months. I’m trying to develop my skills with creating faces and busts so here’s Gambit…next I’m hoping to create the incredible artist Lora Zombie. She’s just mega cool and I LOVE her hair. Stay tuned guys. Don’t forget to subscribe!!